So we are concurrently moving through the final stages of licensing for Foster/Adopt. We have our home study early next month --- in the proposed two week wait. Not sure how I feel about that, but hey... why not?
I have found it oddly therapeutic to get the "baby" room closer to looking like a room a person (tiny human) could live in instead of the "catch all--- no, no, don't open that door" room. We have to buy a crib mattress soon. I may finish the entire room during the two year anniversary week. Not to torture myself, in theory, but to finish what was started but never finished when our son died. I even looked up the cribset to see if it was still being sold (it's not) and whether I could find the matching lamp (I can, on eba.y but I am too cheap the pay what they want for it). I also need to look up and see whether I can buy the crib conversion kit we opted out on when we bought it, just in case we get a toddler who needs a toddler bed instead of a full crib. I am not sure either of us are ready for the emotions involved in having it look like the beautiful nursery we had planned so lovingly two years ago. Especially if it remains empty with no placements for equally as long...
Anyways, that brings me to my question for you guys. I want to hire a house cleaner. I have wanted to for a long time. I am just not sure I can calm my worries about someone coming into my home to clean for me... On one hand, I can't fathom just sitting there while someone cleans my home, but I can't not be there (trust) and then, if she doesn't do it better than I would have, I will feel like I wasted $.
So, how do I pick someone? I was planning on looking through Crai.gslist but there's so many, it's overwhelming. I think part of my neurosis about this is also because we had one as a kid and it was torture!! We had to clean so much to prepare for the cleaning lady every week. Now, I see the value in that - you don't want to waste the time she is there with her picking up after you. I want her to do the deep cleaning.
For your help in this, I give you this:
Thanks :)
13 comments:
Glad to hear things are moving both on the IVF and Foster/Adopt fronts. I can't imagine putting together a room -- we were going to wait at least until after the new year (past 20 weeks) to do that. Glad we waited.
I've never used a cleaning person, but I would go by recommendations. I figure if someone has used a CP, then they can tell you their strengths/weaknesses, and trustworthiness. Just my two cents.
Thinking of you during these next steps!
Not sure what to do about the cleaning lady, but I am intesested to see responses since I have been thinking about getting one too.
And glad you are ploughing ahead with the room decorating and ivf and foster/adoption! Crossing my fingers for you!
I would also strongly recommend gathering personal recommendations for a cleaning person from friends, family, neighbors.
Congrats on starting stims soon! That's such an exciting (and bloaty) time!
Last fall, I broke my collarbone while I was pregnant with Lucy and hired a cleaning service. I wanted to get a "green" one, though I have to say I don't think it was particularly green. I really really loved coming home to a clean house, especially after a week and a half of not being able to massacre dust bunnies. When I started looking more closely, I was disappointed in the job they did. Here is why I was disappointed--I generally do a half-assed job on my own house. When I pay for it, I expect them to do things full-assed. I am paying them for this list of services--clean the baseboards, for example. I don't care about baseboards, but if you say you are cleaning them, clean them. There were a whole host of things like that--things I didn't care about before I got a list of things I should care about. Anyway, I used them once, and both appreciated the deep clean to get me over the hump until I could scrub again and got annoyed by it. If you have emails for a group of neighbors, I would email them for recommendations. Generally, people might have someone they occasionally use, and I think that cleaning people, rather than services, can be better. Also, you know, straightening up for the cleaning service was almost like cleaning to begin with...That is my experience. You can email me if you want more details. One thing really really put me off, which was when they got there, I walked them through my house, and I was embarrassed. I was eight months pregnant and had a broken collarbone. It was dusty. So, I said, "Please say this isn't the dirtiest house you have ever seen." And then they regaled me with disgusting stories of other people's houses, and I just imagined being the next story. **shiver**
I'm glad things are moving again! I must feel good to be going in a positive direction again.
as for the cleaning, we just hired our cleaners back and the reason that we discontinued service years ago was because I thought "hey, i can do that". But really it's too much for me right now, so I just have to let it go. We hire a service that is a legal/bonded/insured. It's a team of 4 girls and they come for an hour twice a week. It is a company similar to Merry Maids, except it is smaller and local. I pick up, but don't "deep clean" and really for the price, I'm happy not to be doing bathrooms. And if I don't like something, I have no problem calling the office to give 'notes'. Like I am really anal about my hardwood floors.
I have to confess on an ethics basis, I much prefer the services of a person in business for themselves.
But in this case, if you don't have friends or neighbours, I'd trust something like Molly Maid more.
I have a cleaning person. I've had her since May, since my bp spiked up in this pregnancy.
Ours is a friend's retired mother, and it works great. The only negative thing about that is that it becomes awkward to talk to her about mistakes she's made, etc., because we know her so well. In that way I wish she was a "professional", so there would be a protocol.
But it's awesome. Takes a lot of stress out of our home to have a spotless house every Thursday.
I'm glad things are progressing on both fronts, IVF and fostering I think you would make an amazing foster parent and I'm not just giving platitudes.
As for the cleaner. I totally get that. When I go back to work I want to get someone to come in and clean, but I suspect like you I will end up cleaning before the cleaner arrives. I'm not sure about letting them in either, but maybe it's easier if you don't see what they do.
I think once you get used to someone coming in and doing it you will probably learn to let go a little. Even more so when you have that room full of a little person.
I have someone help clean cuz my house is kinda big and old and I'd go (well, I DID go) batshit trying to clean myself on Saturday a.m.'s. She has "rotations" so she never really cleans my whole house. And I still do cleaning, but this way we both can get to some stuff that would otherwise go unattended (e.g., dusting the blinds in my family room), not to mention I need to vacuum a few times a week because of the dogs anyway, so I see this is cutting down a bit on my cleaning time -- not necessarily ridding of it altogether. (Nice to just have to vacuum the rug in the landing when I have a free five minutes, rather than try and carve out a chunk to also clean the toilets and shower as well.) (also, I'm usually here when she's here, and I really like her and she loves Bella, so we usually end up chatting a bit and it's really not that weird for some reason, but maybe that's me?) And I do tidy in advance so she's actually cleaning and not putting away shoes, which would eat up a good hour or so of her time. So here's what I suggest: 1) references. Find someone who has someone or a service they like. Start asking around -- work, neighborhood, friends, anyone. 2) figure out what you expect. Do you expect the whole house to be cleaned weekly, every nook and cranny? How long do you think that would take and how much are you willing to pay for that? Or, is biweekly enough? Could said person do rotations and only do your master bed/bath or powder/dining room every other time? Are you doing this so on a given weekend you could wash all of your windows, in and out, and vaccuum your a/c returns or do you expect them to do that, too?
No right answers, just managing expectations -- ask your friends when you get references what it is exactly that they do.
I'm sort of loopy on a pain pill for my headache and all I can say is 'hahaha that goofy cat thinking it's a person.'
Glad things are moving forward.
No advice about a house cleaner, never hired one myself...
My mom worked as one for a company before, and still cleans houses occasionally, so I've only ever experienced that side of things. I think reputation and finding out who people use in your area maybe... but I really don't know.
So glad to hear about the cycle and adoptions moving right along girl.
Cleaning people. Every.one.in.cairo.has.one.
I wish I had some good advice about getting one back there, it seems alot of ladies gave you great advice though. A friend of mine hired a lady once, back in the US and she was in business for herself. She was trustworthy and cleaned.her.ass.off! I would just try to talk to some of their current clients to get a feel for their quality I guess. Good luck! Let us know what you do and how it works out.
Hello lovely.
Cleaning ARGHHHH.
My sister paid for one for me for a YEAR after Rocco was born. Now I pay for one. It's ok .. pretty embarrassing. Just act extremely busy when they are there, to get over the shame of it. Fuck 'em. They've probably seen worse, and you are paying them for a service.
Excited and hopeful for you - for IVF, fostering .... but ESPECIALLY the cleaners. You go girlfriend XOXOXO
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