Today is 26 weeks and it feels like... just another day. I could look it up, but I think the day William died was actually 26 weeks and 2 or 3 days. Does it really matter? Not so much. This little guy is moving a lot, keeping me sane. Well sometimes at least. Sometimes the flutters are so fast I think, oh no, he is OK in there? Ahhh shut up brain.
We had a scan on Thursday. The boy looks good. The tech printed us a money shot. Seriously, I didn't really need a print out of my son's "junk" but I added it to the baby book that is already full of many, many ultrasound pictures. The placenta is still bilobed, the cord still has its velamentous cord insertion (VCI) presentation. These are the things left to worry about, because they aren't really concerned anymore (at least for now) about IUGR. You see, he is 87 percentile... meaning they hope babies are about 1lb 8oz right now, he is almost 2lbs 2oz. So the placenta is doing it's job and perhaps my baby sugar "tricks" should go by the wayside.
The VCI cord thing coupled with his current frank breech position has me just assuming we will go with a C section. I know he has plenty of time to turn and what I have read, the VCI "shouldn't" pose any problems during birth. But the stories on forums about VCI women whose children died when the vessels burst during labor have me feeling pretty neurotic. It's a conversation I still need to have with my OB. What if she only wants to do natural labor? Will I be OK with that decision? My uterus really doesn't need anymore scar tissue, but that really is so low on my importance scale. Birth plan = get him out alive.
There's plenty of time to work this all out, right? I just made it to 26 weeks. Next goal, 30. I am in uncharted waters. I admit, I am flailing a bit. Having trouble concentrating at work, having trouble making it 5 minutes without thinking about whether this boy will make it out alive. People talk to me like a normal pregnant person - Am I excited? (Excited = terrified, sure!) - Oh July and pregnant, that will be so hot (I can't see July from here) - Next year, you will have the little baby at this party, G (I will? Can you guarantee that? Please!). All this normal talk makes me so very uncomfortable. Just ignore the belly, let me freak out in this corner by myself.
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12 comments:
You have plenty of time, and if a Csection eases your fears, then you need to insist on one. Unless your doctor can provide you with a valid medical reason NOT to, you need to do what makes you comfortable and sends you home with a healthy baby.
*hugs* keep doing what you're doing! You're doing great mama!
I agree on the c-section note above. If that makes you feel better, DO IT. And if your doc refuses, find someone who will. Anything to keep you (relatively) sane.
I remember getting past the point when my girls were born...it felt strange. For me, it was almost a relief to be beyond that stage.
Oh, and I hear ya on the "birth plan". Pretty sure I even wrote that on the little sheet they had me fill out. It's like "I don't give a fuck what music is playing or if the lights are low...get the kid out alive!!"
So many *hugs* for you, my dear. Let me know if there's anything I can do.
xoxo
(*hugs*) Yay for 26wks, that's great. Now onwards to 30- you can do this.
This is why I am now so incredibly relieved to have been pregnant over a long, long cold winter. There were people who see me pretty much daily who didn't know I was pregnant until about 3 weeks ago when the coat finally came off. I didn't have to deal with any of that shizz.
I can't imagine your doctor would waiver on the C -- I would suggest putting the two docs (MFM/OB) on the same phone to discuss this so that both know where the other stands. If it is risky, I don't see why an OB wouldn't go that route.
congrats on making it to week 26. 30 will be here before you know it! glad baby boy is big and healthy. :)
I can't imagine your doc even trying to nudge you in another direction if there is even a bit of higher risk with the vag as an exit route.
Bring in your research to go over with doc just in case. I found I could think of everything I wanted to ask intelligently but once I was in the office I always collapsed into a heaping, weeping "please just get the baby out alive" sort of basket case. Having papers that would say it for me helped alot.
26 weeks!! YAY! I hope the next 10 fly by. They won't:) but I so hope they do.
;)
xxoo
g- you just cannot catch a break. well, it is huge HUGE that he is growing so that is cool.
Why would the OB not do a c section? People opt for that all the time. How will you concentrate during labor with this wacky cord? I am sure you can do it if you want/have to.
And, I also like to freak out by myself. Luckily most of my coworkers and volunteers didn;t notice I was preggo until waaaaay after 26 weeks.
William is on my mind and so is the rest of your family.
Thinking of you, G.
ah you sound so much like me. All I wanted to do was hide in the corner and have everyone pretend I wasnt pregnant so they would stop.talking.about.it!
Thinking of you xxxx
I hear you. Though my hippy self usually yelling annoyingly for gals to consider natural labor, I'm all for a C sec if you need one, if there are potential risks.
I hated that normal attitude, giving gifts early, talking as if a RLB was a given (and then for me it became talking about a healthy baby, when IUGR suddenly reared its ugly, ugly head).
Hang in there.
G, hang in there. The last trimester is a scary one, and I wish I could guarantee you the happy ending you deserve. I am thinking good thoughts and sending positive vibes!
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